Audition Sides

*Here are three scenes.

THESE MAY ONLY BE USED FOR OUR AUDITION PURPOSES!!!

Hades (God of the Underworld) & Zeus (God of the Sky)

HADES: Oh Persephone. She is so sweet. And beautiful. And sweet. (spitting a bit) She’s super sweet.

ZEUS: (wiping his face) Ugh. I asked for the news, not the weather.

HADES: What news? Is there news? Is there something I should know about? Oh boy, I’m always the last person to get the news!

ZEUS: It’s an expression. Stop spitting on me! (wipes his face again) You should ask her out.

HADES: Me?

ZEUS: You. Hades!

HADES: No way! She’d never go out with a guy like me. I don’t even have a tan! What if I asked her out and I had bad breath and she was grossed out and she told all her friends, “Hades has bad breath.” Or what if I was in the middle of asking her out and I farted? How would I ever live that down? No, no no, no, no, no, noooo! Can’t do it. Not gonna happen.

ZEUS: Hades. You are the GOD of the Underworld! Do you think you could act like god of the Underworld?

HADES: I know I’m god of the Underworld. Dealing with the wailing and gnashing of the masses is a whole lot easier than trying to get a date!


Zeus & Demeter (Demeter is Goddess of the Harvest)

DEMETER: Zeus.

ZEUS: (not looking) Hmmm?

DEMETER: Zeus.

ZEUS: (turning) What? Oh Demeter! How lovely to see you!

DEMETER: Zeus have you -

ZEUS: My dear sister, we never talk anymore.

DEMETER: Zeus have you -

ZEUS: How’s it going?

DEMETER: Zeus have you -

ZEUS: Did I tell you - (he starts laughing - Demeter is fuming) It’s the funniest thing...

DEMETER: (as fast as she can) Have you seen Persephone?

ZEUS: What?

DEMETER: Have you seen -

ZEUS: Who?

DEMETER: Persephone, MY DAUGHTER!

ZEUS: How is she?

DEMETER: (really upset) Have. You. Seen. Her?

ZEUS: Can’t say I have. How is she?

DEMETER (‘smoke is coming out of her ears’) ZEUSSSSSSS...

ZEUS: Have you met my new best friend? His name is Merve.


Athena (Goddess of Wisdom) & Arachne (a very skilled weaver)

ATHENA: I am Athena, goddess of Wisdom, justice and skill. Protector of arts and industry. I never have and never will surrender to defeat.

(Arachne enters to show the townspeople her newest work of weaving.)

ARACHNE: I am ready to reveal the tapestry. I believe this is my finest to date. I am the best weaver in the land.

ATHENA: (disguised as a townsperson) You should thank the gods for your skills.

ARACHNE: Don’t be ridiculous. My skills come from me and me alone. Nothing was given to me by anyone.

ATHENA: (disguised as a townsperson gasps) Arachne! How can you say that, surely you must thank Athena for your talent?

ARACHNE: Athena did nothing to make me a weaver. She had nothing to do with making me the best weaver in the world.

(Arachne and townspeople freeze.)

ATHEN: (as her divine self and “in Arachne’s face” - Arachne should not react, she’s frozen in time/space) You may very well be one of the best weavers in the world. But you have no right to deny the giver of your gifts. You will pay dearly for that, Arachne.